The Magical Mysteries of the Ancient Potato Flower: Bolivia for the Weekend

Since Puno is right next to the Bolivian boarder (and because there is absolutely nothing to do in Puno) we made the three hour trek across the boarder to Copacabana. There was equally little to do in the city of Copacabana. Our tour guide (who did not care how we took our pictures or how many objects we included in them) ushered us quickly down to the port where boarded a catamaran and set out for the Isla del Sol (Island of the Sun).

Arriving on the island we were immediately greeted by an ancient Incan replica boat and two nice Bolivian men dressed in ancient Incan garb. I will call the boat ride "Cultural Experience No. 1." While on board the ancient Incan boat (with a motor) all the tourists were given the opportunity to row the boat (that did not need to be rowed). I was also given ancient Incan garb, hat and all, and promptly almost dropped the paddle overboard. The nice Bolivian helped me "dip" my paddle a few times. Then I turned it over to a much stronger Brit who had more of an affinity for paddling than I.

A quick note of "Cultural Experiences." I do not actually believe that "Cultural Experiences" involve experiencing any part of the South American culture. In fact there is not a single South American, that I have met, that traditionally rides around in ancient Incan boats or wears ancient Incan clothing. In fact, the Incans probably did not even wear the ancient Incan clothing we see today. On a given tour or while eating at a particularly touristy restaurant, one is almost guaranteed some type of musical or dancing enlightenment. Our trip to Bolivia was not short on such experiences.

"Cultural Experience No 2" involved our boat being met by a small band and "traditionally dressed" women who placed a lei of flowers around our necks (attractive, huh?). We then danced through the town following the band to "Cultural Experience No 3" which was an ancient sacrifice of brightly colored sweets and llama sweat. The people who actually lived on the island stood around and laughed at us. (They don´t generally do this type of thing)

It was after the ancient Incan ceremony and before the ancient Incan musical festival that I had a brilliant idea. Since the Island of the Sun is situated on Lake Titicaca and since Lake Titicaca has sail boats and since I know how to sail- I asked to opt out of "Cultural Experience No 4" and try my hand at Bolivian sailing.

Bolivian sailing was a bit of a disaster to say the least. I assured the man (whose boat I was borrowing) that I knew how to sail, that I could sail "anything." That was cocky. This attitude rarely has good results.

The boat I was on was a bit different, to say the least. It was missing what were, in my opinion, very essential parts of sail boats and had one rope that was tied to a rock. I never managed to figure out the purpose of the rock or the rope. I almost lost the rock. I also never actually managed to raise the sail without extreme disasters. Said disasters included getting caught in a large fishing net, dropping the sail on my head, dropping the sail in the water, almost hitting rocks, hitting rocks, almost hitting other boats, washing up on the beach, etc (you get the idea). The poor fisherman was standing on the shore holding his hat with worry. I was standing on the boat, looking for my hat, worrying as well. Finally the sail was raised and we realized there was absolutely no wind. We then accepted our fate, put down our sail and (you guessed it) paddled into shore.
That evening, over dinner, we were lucky enough to have our fifth (and final) "Cultural Experience." This was a musical concert of flutes which included the infamous tune "The Ancient Potato Flower" (undoubtedly Incan). This tune was repeated over and over again as we all danced. In fact, I am of the firm belief that the "Ancient Potato Flower" is the only song that group could play. I am also of the belief that the Incans did not have a song called the "Ancient Potato Flower." Unfortunate...I know.